The Man Who Used To Be, Or Never Was |2021

“Someone Introduce Me To The Man I Used To Be”, how fitting. Perhaps it’s just how painful it would be to meet him and have to explain how I became such a fuck up.

Another gem of a Redemption track, this one is off of the absolutely amazing, dazzling, and stellar album “The Origins Of Ruin“.

This track was hard for me to get into all those years ago. It’s just, it would have been so painful to force myself to reflect upon the disaster I was becoming.

And the disaster I became, that entity, exists in this reality. This shitty, shitty existence in this disaster of a reality.

Self-loathing aside, I am who I am because I ate spinach. No wait, I am who I am because I am no longer the man I used to be. I became something better.

I know that I am blessed to be who I am. I’m just really fucked up, like everyone else. I just express myself in a blog that no one reads and nobody gives a shit about.

And that’s OK. Actually, it’s excellent. Well, the part of no one reading the blog sucks, but is OK. Circles go round and round.

I struggle with myself. I mean, who doesn’t? You can read a few posts and get it. To quote the song, “And I will find my way, back home again”.

I don’t know how to finish what’s begun
Or how long I might wonder if it’s done
Windows open when the doors are all closed
But if you step through, you might forget the way back home

I was drawn, I was taken over Rubicons
All the while never realized I was gone
Windows opened when the doors were all closed
I stepped through them and now I forget the way back home

Someone introduce me to the man I used to be
I can feel him struggling deep inside of me
I swear if it takes until my dying day
That somehow I will find my way again

I have faltered, I have sacrificed, everything I once held dear

Windows opened when the doors were all closed
I stepped through them and lost my way
Somehow I know I’ll be back again – I know I can save myself

Someone introduce me to the man I used to be
I can feel him struggling deep inside of me
I swear if it takes until my dying day
That somehow I will find my way

I will find I’m back again the man I used to be
I will find I’m reconciled with what I’ve hoped to be
I’ll build a bridge to what I’ve lost
And I will find my way, back home again

And yes, I know that Youtube is Killing Videos – 2020