What If? … Anesthesia, Sapphire, and kastle|2022

What would happen if Anesthesia, Sapphire, and kastle walked into a bar? I know the answer, call on me, teacher! Oh, Oh! I know, I know… Yeah, the answer is that kastle would be walking into the bar alone.

This is to highlight something unique, strange, and perhaps more. Nope, I was playing. The fact is that I know that I exist; I wish the other two would take me away. Make me feel differently.

Yes, differently. That is what both could provide; yes could. It’s not necessarily the truth; I know that one or both will destroy me, take everything from my insides, and take away the massive amounts of pain that I suffer.

And yet, I’ll never be so lucky to dissolve myself from those feelings. The absolute pain that rains over me like an Arizona summer monsoon. Awash of pain and suffering, like, oh, but wait. See the previous sentences.

I can’t win. There’s no chance for it. No, winning absconds me. It’s a dangling chad that prevents me from succeeding. No matter how hard I work, no matter how hard I try, no matter what I do… I can never win.

Nope, it is not allowed. This guy, nope, he’s not allowed to win. One step forward, a punch in the balls and take ten steps back, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

Yeah, that’s my life. It’s always been, always will be. When even the most simplistic things in your life are rifled with pain, be it physical or emotional, things are going in the wrong direction.

And that’s this guy’s life. You want to know why I write dark shit; it’s this guy’s life. The one that beats him down kicks him in the balls, steals his lunch money, and pisses on him, all the while telling him it’s a beautiful day.

Yeah, so fuck you, the horse you rode in on, and the shit behind it.