Sapphire, oh how I miss you. If you exist, where are you? Why can’t we find each other? What part of my soul do I need to give up for you? Is there Redemption?
As noted in some other threads, like this one. And most importantly, Stay Out of My Dreams! SHOCKING Type O- MASTERPIECE |2020.
Sapphire is a track off of Redemptions 2005 ‘The Fullness Of Time‘ album, an equal to their 2007 The Origins of Ruin.
Equal in that the sum of those two parts creates 2007’s Frozen in the Moment: Live in Atlanta. Just an amazing masterpiece.
It would tear out my heart
To be nothing more to you
Than a smile that occasionally
Crosses your face
Twenty five years from now
What will we have?
A pile of ash called
What could have been?
This stanza is the core of a problem that I have. I met her (noted in other threads). I talked with her on a number of occasions. We flirted many times. But then, then…
The day before Christmas a few years back, I saw her at work. She turned towards me from where she was, her eyes lighting up. She was adorable, with newly dyed green hair.
She came to me, bringing what was one of the most amazing hugs I’ve ever received. It was innocent, friendly, but yet so incredible. I was flummoxed and blown away.
In a funny way, I was the one who was Frozen in the Moment. I couldn’t believe what was happening, it was surreal, and as if it came from a dream.
I stared into her eyes like it was my last act on Earth as she talked to me. She stood less than 2 feet away from me, standing about 5’9″ or 10″. I’m 5’11” for reference.
We talked about holiday plans. I stood there, listening to her intently. I thought about that hug, trying not to get too excited.
It was over in a few minutes. A few amazing minutes. She had told me that she lived alone, was thinking about going to her Fathers place but they weren’t close.
I was such a moron. I had been waiting for an opportunity to ask her for her number or give her mine. But I didn’t. I failed.
I was so shocked at this dramatic turn of events (excellent Dream Theater album) that all I could do was fumble about and not ask.
Talk about a “Skull Crushing Finale“!
I never saw her again after that. I went back two days later, the day after Christmas, but it was too late. She was “No longer with them”. I felt heartbroken, destroyed. I still do.
She said to me “It was great talking to you, I have to get back to work now”. She walked across my path and down an aisle towards the front of the building. I stood in awe.
I had a similar experience so many years ago with my friend Angelé. I remember how she turned to me, a special light in her eyes.
And she walked away. Her ass swaying to and fro. Messing with my brain that was incapable of thinking. I just stood there. I watched. I knew that was the end.
And in both cases, it was the end. That was it, I watched each walk away from me, in a friendly manner. Just sashaying their respective sweet asses as to tell me this was something I could either have or not.
A duality of ass. No offense to Angèle, but Sapphire’s ass was a bit nicer. Or more fresh in my memory. But I can open my mind’s eye and see both, leaving me.
And there it was, “MY” Sapphire walking away, leaving me Frozen in the Moment. I prayed to the Redemption Gods to bring her back, but nothing. That was 3 years ago.
Now some three (3) years have passed. Sapphire is a smile that occasionally crosses my face. What could have been?. I’ve been the one left with a pile of ash called what could have been?
And I still write about Sapphire. I still hope to have that chance. She both exists and doesn’t, I will see her again or not. This is the existential side of me, the one that seeks balance.
