With the recent passing of Peter Steele, frontman of Type O Negative, I’ve had many of my friends ask me how I felt about it. I’ve resisted talking about it until I’ve had a chance to go over my thoughts and then write things up. So here goes …

I spent many a year growing as a person during the 90’s (once I moved out to AZ from NY) with many influences and one of them was Peter Steele. I never met the man (per say) but his demeanor, attitude and personality seeped in to my being. I often read/watched interviews featuring Peter and I wanted so much to emulate him. Little bits here and there. I don’t think it was noticeable to me or to others, but over time I can see how I was transformed.

In my reading of other peoples remembrance I came across an article about his personality on MTV that reminded me of how I had constructed my own personality.

  • Steele wasn’t a simple guy. He was articulate, well read and intelligent. I see this in myself, regardless of the act I often put on for others. I’m articulate, intelligent and well read (though not in books per say, but in life).
  • He often talked about how he was just an average Joe from Brooklyn whose happiest days were back when he worked picking up garbage for the New York City Department of Parks & Recreation. Most of my friends know that I was at my happiest when I was working in a bakery back in NY doing simple things like mopping the floor, handling cleaning dishes as well as doing inventory (loading and unloading trucks. It was simple, relaxing and most of all, rewarding.
  • Obviously, the man was obsessed with mortality and prone to depression. Yeah, I think I have the depression part covered. I’m not overly obsessed with mortality as of yet, but I’m sure I will be.
  • He may have been filled with self-loathing, but he loved to make people laugh and he masked his pain with his morbid sense of humor. Shocker there. Anyone who knows me well enough to have had a somewhat serious conversation knows I mirror this like you wouldn’t believe. Making people laugh leaves me with a great sense of accomplishment and my morbid (Mr E. would say morose) stylings.
  • He was friendly, funny and had a reputation for being generous to his longtime bandmates Silver, guitarist Kenny Hickey and drummer Johnny Kelly and kind to the bands he toured with. Ditto. Minus the band and touring. I’ve always tried to be excessively generous to my longtime friends. My friends mean the world to me and I always do my best to take care of them.
  • Peter Steele held little sacred and took even less seriously. Again, if someone had a conversation with me they’d know how true that was for me and my personality. Nothing off topic for me and everything is a great joke. The sure amount of times I’ve offended people without intent is shocking.

So that’s my thoughts. A little bit of me died last week when Peter Steele, 48, passed away.

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