Sho Rai – The Master, The Day My Heart Was Broken |1419 | 2023

Sho Rai is my Bret “The Hitman” Hart, “The Best There Is, The Best There Was, The Best There Ever Will Be“.

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kastle’s note – I’m just c/p because of just how painful this whole ordeal is for me. I just want to die and that’s what I say on the outside.

I’ll maybe post shot pics, but fuck! Just drone strike me already.Take me awaw from this constant pummeling of my soul.

I love you. Sho. There will be no other, I promise you.
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Sho Rai was my hero, my champion, my lap kitty, my purring machine, and my bestie (no offense to Matt). Sho Rai was everything I ever wanted in a cat, everything anyone could have asked for. A literal show cat, who competed in Cat Shows, and placed.

Two (2) years ago, on this day, and at the time I publish this (17:36), I lost him. It broke my heart, leading to the moniker “The Day My Heart Was Broken”. And that’s the fucking truth.

My license plate is the second part of the title of this post, 1419. It had previously just been, simply “Sho Rai”. Fitting for a person who loved his boy so much.

If you want to know why Sho Rai is The MASTER, all you have to do is watch the lightsaber duel between Obi Wan and Darth Vader. And he had even more talents than that.

Sho Rai, for most of his life with me, would sleep in bed with me, lying up against my right leg. Over different houses and different beds, there was no night where my Sho Rai wasn’t sleeping up against my leg.

It was a security blanket, likely for both of us, to know that my #1 was there next to me. I could turn over on my side, and I could still touch him. I had a lap kitty and a kitty who wanted to sleep in with me.

Most people don’t understand or comprehend the love you can receive from an animal (appropriate kind of love, ahem) and how much that affects them. How much it enriches their lives and makes them feel whole.

And for me, Brandy Rai was that. When Brandy Rai passed, I felt like I had nothing. Sho Rai took some time to develop, but once he was able to get on board, he was the MASTER. He was everything.

Most people think of their pets are animals. Some people think of them as family. For me, they are more than that, they are my besties. My homies. My gang. They mean everything to me, and perhaps I don’t understand love.

You see, if you’ve read anything on this site, you’d recognize this. I’ve noted it a few times, but most importantly in its own post :

“You can’t love someone else till you love yourself… so told me, my ex-wife.” That was while we were dating, not even married yet. And marriage did not change that aspect of me.

Sho Rai was my kitty extraordinaire. Sho Rai was the MASTER, he was everything to me. I lost him like so many others have lost their pets for whom they cherished. I know and get that.

Unfortunately, when you can’t even love yourself, you tend to not last long in relationships because of that sad fact. There is no real way to move forward when you are continuously sabotaging things and moving backward.

I’m going to share something with you that comes from a conversation with a long time friend of mine, someone who matters to me.

For 9 months, if not longer, when I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate, all I saw was Sho Rai, as he lay on the table and the power was pulled. His fur, soaking wet from my tears. I just cried and cried, my heart destroyed.

That broke my fucking heart into infinite pieces. Nothing will put that back together and that is the price I must pay, the cost of my deeds, the crosses I must bear.

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These pictures are from my special reserve, and I want to share them with one or two people who’ll actually read this post. I believe they are in chronological order but whatever. I hope they are at least somewhat not unacceptable.