Blind Faith and Trust. They are synonymous and similarly divergent. There will always be a difference and yet an incredible similarity between the two. One can save you, the other will save you. It’s for you to decide which is which. But know that they are both integral to the advancement of life.
The other day, I shared a prospective post with the Reverend CD and it was dark. By my standards, it was pretty dark. And the feedback that I got from the Reverend, is the reason why that post, entitled “infinite sadness” is not posted on my site.
Nor will it ever be. At least not the way it was written. But that’s not what’s the key here. The key is trust.
The Reverend CD said to me:
If you consider that TRUST – has five (5) letters and ACQUAINTANCES has thirteen (13) letters, you could conclude that having about 5 people that you trust is optimal. I’m not saying that this is a hard and fast rule, just that I have very few people I trust among all the people that I know.
I am thankful to say that I have the type of friends, a small, close-knit group of friends, both male and female, for whom I trust. But what does that mean?
Trust to me is knowing that my friends will never, ever do anything to hurt me, they will never say things to hurt me, they will never tell me things to hurt me, and they will never take action to hurt me.
It’s an amazing feeling, and horrific at the same time. The post with the Reverend is not the first and I’m sure it will not be the last which I asked him for his thoughts and he gives them to me, lovingly but concisely. And in the past, from time to time, they hurt. But never did I ever believe there was any sort of malice to them.
I know that what The Reverend says to me holds value and is important, important enough that I will not argue, I will not fight, I will not bitch and complain, I will take what is said, weighing on the true love that I have for this person and then act upon it.
I have another buddy, Debo, and I’ve known him for 12 1/2 years now. We worked together and remained the closest of friends. I would actually call him, and I actually do, my best friend. But what happens when you don’t listen? I can tell you what.
A couple of years ago I was wanting something, car-wise, new and exciting. I spoke with Debo about it and he told me “don’t be an idiot, don’t sell the diesel.“ The car in question was my 335d.
I didn’t listen to my best friend telling me it wasn’t a good idea to go and spend a shit ton of money on a car when I had one that was perfectly good and I owned outright. And furthermore to that point, this all stems from the fact that my aftermarket warranty company would no longer support my dealership and their rates, a matter of $15 an hour.
I traded the car in and within days I knew I had made the wrong decision and then I had should’ve listened to Debo. A little bit down the line, we were talking one night and it was about renting a house and he told me that I would be an idiot to pay XYZ for the place that I was living in given that the landlord wanted to raise the rent 54% per month.
And I stopped and listened. I thought to myself, why would Debo tell me not to do that if not to protect me from myself. And that was the actual case. I listened because I have faith in my friends that they’re not going to tell me things to harm me. They’re all straight up.
I’ll go one further, I have an ex whom I will refer to as Miss J. She and I had a very tumultuous relationship and very on again off again. Not any sort of heat but just didn’t do well together. About a year ago, we started speaking again and I set the expectation so I just wanted her in my life as my friend because she is an amazing person.
And we continue to be friends and to the point where I have stayed over at her house twice this year (2021) and have appropriately slept in the guestroom with no hanky-panky or anything else going on.
It’s important to note that because well, it would be easy to slip into a bad place with somebody to who you have an attraction for the sake of a short amount of glory. But no, I want more.
I want Miss J as my friend because she is an intelligent and loving human being. While we’ve had our issues, I trust her and I told her this recently while doing a FaceTime and I said something along the lines of “I trust you Miss J, I have no reason to believe that you’re going to harm me and I will listen to what you have to say“. That took her for a loop at first, because it’s a hard thing to understand when someone will put themselves out there and say to you that they believe in you they believe in what you say and, I’m not talking about Mormons or Scientologists and they’re crazy ass shit.
I have another friend, Mrs. B. She’s the toughest mother fucker I have ever met. Physically. Emotionally.Mrs. B, she gives me a run for the money in those two categories. I will tell her all the time, I am in awe of the power and strength that she has. And then, then there was breast cancer. Blammo, cancer. Boom, fuck!
I love Mrs. B with all my heart. I love her husband,Mr. B, because he has time and again took care of my friend, with such love and heart, so amazingly that (between us bots), he has shown me so much about being a Man. He’s an amazing human (and handsome to boot) who has taken care of another of my best friends. He’s a real Man. Mr. B, you are an amazing human. And I know Mrs. B knows I mean that from the essence of my soul.
If Mrs. B tells me to do something, I listen. I’ve listened for far longer than she knows. Far longer I will ever her tell her. But wait, there’s more…
I have so much respect for Mrs. B, it’s amazing. A few years back, Mrs. B came down to Phoenix and we went to the Arizona Diamondbacks vs. San Francisco Giants baseball game. This was before she was Mrs. and was just Miss F. My coworkers at the time, as amazing as they are and were, for whom I speak to many, many years later, well they all thought I was gonna hook up with her.
I exclaimed that that was said with, and I paraphrase, “Fuck you cunts. I’d NEVER, EVAAAAH do that. Fuck you ALL!. How dare you any of you think that. Fuck you! Fuck you to hell! Do any of you know”. That’s nearly literally how it went down while in SG’s (former boss) office. I was blown away that my coworkers, would think that. Perhaps appalled. Fucking losers. All of them, all of them for thinking that.
And after some inner thoughts about it, I knew that they were not my friends. That they were projecting either themselves on my, or their perceptions
No, I’m talking about blind faith. I have blind faith in my friends and I know that none of them will ever tell me something to hurt me because they would never want me to do that to them. Trust, love, faith. You don’t know that you have friends until you have that.
Or until you call them and say hey fetch a shovel or, fetch a rug… (Archer reference)
But honestly, think about a trust fall and think about that with your friends. Will you always catch them and do you believe that they will always catch you? Do you believe that you can tell your friends something and not tell them because of your own self-interests but because of the love in your heart and the goodness in your soul that you have towards them? That’s, fucking amazing.
And if there is anything, anything at all, that I have in my life it is one single possible thing, besides my awesome cats, is knowing that come to hell or high water that my friends will always have my back. And they will always do right by me and ask me to do the same for them because that, that is what friendship is about. That is absolute love for somebody, just absolutely love.
The point I am trying to make is such: if you can find in yourself to be able to treat others as you want to be treated and you can establish a friendship based on faith in each other and knowing that when things get tough they are not going to bail on you, that when things get hard in life they will do whatever they can, whatever it takes to ensure your safety. Because without that, what exactly do you have?
The answer to that question is fucking nothing. If you can’t blindly have faith in someone in your life then why are they in your life? Seriously??
What kind of life are you living in which those around you you will not listen to because you think that you’re smarter than them? Because you think that you’re better than them? Because of whatever fucking reason?
No, a real friend is the friend that you listen to and not specifically the one that you count on. If you stop and listen for a fucking second to what your friends tell you, those who are on a pedestal the size of Mount Olympus… If you can find it in yourself to listen then you have a true friend.
And I will leave you with this … The name of the game is blind faith. Because that’s what religion is all about, for fucks sake that is religion. You’re talking about a deity that you cannot see, that you possibly believe you can feel but there’s no tangible, there’s no tangible anything.
I can no more prove that an almighty deity exists than it doesn’t but those who believe, have blind faith. The true believers. They take the trust fall for their beliefs knowing that they’ll be caught. Are they? More likely than not, their social network will catch them.
And that is what I believe friends are, that’s what friendship is. It’s those around you that you love and care about and you listen to what they say because they fucking matter in your life and it would be pretty fucking stupid to continue to not listen to those who love you.