Mental Health, Doom and PROVEN Inevitable Outcome |2020

What I mean about that is when people say to “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade”. I’m talking about the feeling of doom, where everything sucks and it just keeps getting worse.

I’m talking about that inevitable outcome you fear, the onslaught of doom on your mental health that beats your soul down.

There is this perpetual, just awful, ass-kicking that you get when you are down on your luck or when everything starts to go wrong, spiraling out of control. There is a level of personal doom that comes with this.

The kind where nothing goes right and it seems that at every opportunity that The Fates are just raking your ass over the coals. If you don’t know what The Fates are, read Ancient Greek Mythology.

After a while, the level of mental stress brought upon you by yourself, or those around you, or just the world around you, begins to be augmented by the physical pain that that is inducing upon you.

That sickening feeling in your soul that there is no escaping this. Because you can never win. This is what doom brings.

No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you can never win“. Also, you should check out that song (last sentence link) by Fisherspooner.

If it’s not one thing it’s another. And after a while, that just starts to pile up and no matter how much you try to compress that and make it not a big deal, it is. No snow blower is going to rid you of this shit show.

It is a soul-crushing defeat every time you get fucked over by the system. After a while, the level of mental stress brought upon you by yourself, or those around you, or just the world around you.

Then it begins to be augmented by the physical pain that that is inducing upon you. That sickening feeling in your soul that there is no escaping this. Because you can never win.

Every time you think that you have made a step forward they cut you down at knees off (I have a history of knee issues – here, here, over here. Oh and here + here ).

Their will and intent are not to kill you, but to break you so far down that you will grovel at the feet of your master asking for breadcrumbs, asking them not to hurt you and your family. Bull ship like that.

They try to handicap you at every opportunity and even then when the entire weight of the world is upon you and you feel like there is no way out, and you start to see a little bit of a light… It’s just another fucking train.

I am going to believe in karma and unfortunately, not a lot of my friends do. I often suggest that I must’ve done something incredibly horrible, incredibly painful to others that I continue to have to suffer, to be punished, in order to make things right.

And I have no idea what I did that is so heinous, so awful, in this life that would warrant the level of pain and suffering that I have had to suffer through. Just like everybody else feels, equating to the underlying punch of mental health on the soul.

And that’s the thing with “your” mental health, regardless. The mind plays a lot of tricks on the soul, and the outcome is never good. It’s nearly inevitable that it will consume one. That is doom incarnate.

But I’m not everybody else, which is what everybody else says I might add. I am myself and I try incredibly hard to be a good human, to do the right thing, to hold the weight of everybody as equal.

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I think Bender had it right, and it is something I have joked about and I have stated time and time again. #killallhumans